Over the years I'm sure the cops have heard all kinds of crazy excuses from people. If the show COPS has taught me anything it's that even the best excuse won't help if you're a complete idiot. Case in point, Willie Jackson from Florida. This guy was caught at a local Wal-mart stealing lip balm and 2 CDs, not even good ones either, Usher and Lil Wayne. After he was stopped by store security the real cops showed up and took him in. When asked why he stole the merchandise he told police he needed the chapstick for his fat unlce. Does the uncle have dry, chap lips? No, he's morbidly obese and needs the chap stick the grease the doors so he can fit thru them.
**face palm**
I guess the Jackson household doesn't have any butter or crisco not to mention, wouldn't you need more than 3 tubes for greasing up a fat man?
TCpalm has the rest of the story
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