1.09.2012

I'll Kill Myself For the Last Bowl of Fruit Loops


Can't say I'm much of a breakfast person. My morning routine usually consists of waking up, having a cigarette, taking a shit, getting dressed and then going to work. Not eating breakfast doesn't mean I don't like cereal or any other breakfast foods. In fact, I love my cereal, Cinnamon Toast Crunch for the win! I can't say that I love enough to set myself on fire though, different strokes different folks I guess.
A 19yr. old Detroit man set himself on fire last week after he and his sister got into a heated, ha ha get it- heated, argument over the last bowl of corn flakes. The mother of two decided to take the sisters side and this did not sit well with the brother. He was so enraged that he left the table, went in to the garage, covered himself in lighter fluid and then set himself on fire in front of the family. Family members tried to perform CPR on the man before paramedics arrived but were unable to rescue him. I'm guessing they put him out first before they started the mouth to mouth. He was taken to a near-by hospital where he was pronounced dead. Family members claim the man didn't have any mental impairments, he just really really really liked a nice bowl of cereal in the morning. Police have said the Capt. Crunch and Dig 'Em the Sugar Smacks frog are taking this news really hard. OK, I'm done.
WXYZ has the full story

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