Vagina Flavored Beer? Vagina Flavored Beer.

Don't get me wrong, I love beer more than anybody and that goes double for craft beers. I love being able to support local brewers and try amazing beer at the same time but let's be honest there's some Frankenstein shit out there and it's getting a little ridiculous. It seems the possibilities are endless when it come to creating new flavors of beer. From birthday cake beer to a hoppy IPA who's hops were cultivated by a cleft lip, walks with limp, blind monk in the mountains of some province I can't pronounce there's something out there for everyone. Case in point.....the Order of Yoni.
A beer maker that is using beer brewed with the essence of a woman’s vagina, or in medical speak, vaginal lactic acid bacteria. Well, pour me a pint! The first batch is being made in Europe and is being made from lactic acid bacteria of a smoking hot Czech model, Alexandra Brendlova, pictured above.
According to founder Wojtek Mann Brendlova is the beer's muse,
“We were looking for an inspiration, a model who is both beautiful, charming girl and intelligent, eloquent woman. I really appreciate her way of speaking, and I find her body language, the way she walks, very sexual.” 

So where do you find vagina beer? As of right now, no where. Mann is using the power of Indie Go Go to fund his yeasty new ale and isn't close to hitting his goal. Yoni’s InieGoGo page has risen only €279 out of €150,000 goal. Right now, Mann offers you to taste your own girlfriend for only €10,000. You’ll get a voucher for 60 bottles of beer produced on your girlfriend’s vaginal bacteria. I think I'll stick with my local brewery, thanks.
More details over at Maxim

Are Carnival Games Rigged?

Short answer: Yes Long Answer: Yeeeeeeeeees

Pop Star Rider Sheets

These are always fun to read. If you're not familiar with what a rider sheet is it's the backstage/green room demands made by bands and performers that must be met by the venues. Stuff like deli platters, and booze are pretty common place when it comes to backstage fare but over the years demands by some of the biggest names in music have taken things to the next level. At this point everyone has heard of the famous "Brown M&M's" story from Van Halen in the '80s. It was revealed years later that the band never really gave a shit about what color candy they had backstage but it was more to make sure that the venue actually read their demands and followed at the details. Below are a few of the best from this recent Business Insider article....

Iggy Pop
A copy of USA Today that's got a story about morbidly obese people in it
6 bottles of Grolsch or decent local beer
F------ loads of good red wines
6 large bottles of good quality sparkling water
3 cases x 12 oz bottles of still mineral water
6 bottles of alcohol free beer
1 case of big bottles of good, premium beer
A bottle of vodka
Cauliflower/broccoli, cut into individual florets and thrown immediately into the garbage. I f------ hate that.

Madonna

200-person entourage
2o international phone lines
Her backstage room must look exactly like her own home (that means she ships around her furniture)
Special flower-scented fabric
Actual flowers
Personal chef who prepares only vegan foods
Her own dry-cleaning service

Lady Gaga

2 Bottles of white wine with wine opener — Kendall Jackson or Robert Mondavi preferred
1 Pack of Straws
1 Cushioned office style chair
TV with cable and a DVD player
1 Rolling clothing rack 
4 Unscented candles
Cool-mist humidifier
3 fans
Tea kettle, organic ginger and lemongrass tea and honey are very important.
1 4 pack of Red Bull Light (on ice)
2 Bottles of Green Tea
1 Container of Guacamole
Hot dogs (Yves veggie dogs eaten with toothpicks)
A smoothie station (with frozen berries, fuze and whey protein or non-fat Greek yogurt) Blender needed
1 Plate of cheese (non-smelly, non-sweaty on ice) with whole wheat/healthy crackers
A mix of assorted fresh fruit (cut and must have edible skin OR edible seeds OR citrus)

Clowns Are Trying To Lure Kids Into the Woods in South Carolina

This is either a prank gone wrong or a great viral promotion for the remake of Stephen King's IT. Regardless of the reason locals in Greenville County South Carolina don't think it's very funny. Police say residents of a local apartment complex have been reporting sightings of a clown with a blinking nose attempting to lure kids into a forest preserve. At this point the cops have found no evidence to support the claims but have stepped up patrols in the area. However, people in the apartment complex say the clown is real and is creepy as hell. Kids reported the clowns have offered them money if they would join them in the woods. Other residents claim they've seen the clown standing around the complex at night, not saying anything and just generally being creepy. A woman told police her son told her he saw a group of clowns gathered in the nearby woods "whispering and making strange noises". OK, that's just plain fucking weird. At the time the article was published the cops had not seen the clowns themselves and residents are still on the look-out.

Well, This Is Awkward

A New Jersey man recently passed away and in a round about way revealed that his wife wasn't his only lover. After Leroy "Blast" Black passed away his wife placed an obituary in the local paper. Only problem was shortly after Bearetta Black sent in her post Leroy's girlfriend, Princess, sent in her version of the obituary. According the funeral home hosting the services for Mr. Black this really didn't come as a shock to anyone in the family. It apparently was well known that "Blast" had more than one lover and they had both planned on honoring him in their own way. The funeral home was concerned this would cause some friction during the services but it seems that everyone is totally cool with Mr. Black's lifestyle. Right on!!
The AJC has the story

Muhammad Ali Saves Man From Suicide

The world lost a legend over this past weekend with the passing of boxing great Muhammad Ali. There's a million different videos and articles you can post about the legacy of Ali but one that stood out to me was this news clip from CBS News in 1981. It seemed like Ali could do whatever he put his mind to. Be it becoming one of the greatest athletes the sports world ever saw or talking a suicidal man off a ledge. The incident took place at a high rise in central LA on Wilshire Blvd. It just so happened that Ali was in the neighborhood and heard about the man threatening suicide so he hopped in his car and raced over to help the man and save his life. Express UK has the back story or watch the original newscast below

Man Shits On Self-Checkout Scanner At Grocery Store

An Ohio man has been banned from a local Kroger grocery store after he was caught taking a dump on the self-checkout scanner. Maybe he just wanted to see how much his poo cost.
Colin Murphy, 23, was arrested in a Cincinnati suburb after he stripped naked in front of employees and relieved himself on top of the scanner. Employees told police he reeked of alcohol, had slurred speech and was stumbling when he entered the store. Police showed up shortly after and made the arrest. No reason was given as to why Murphy decided to shit all over the U-Scan It machine but my guess is the booze was a major factor. I can't say I've ever had the urge to get loaded and take a dump out in the open at a grocery store but hey, different strokes for different folks. Murphy was charged with disorderly conduct and public indecency and was told by the judge in his pre-trial hearing that he is no longer allowed at the Hyde Park Kroger. If he wants to take a shit at the grocery store he'll have to take his business over to the Food Mart. The article doesn't mention it but I'd like to believe the store ripped out the machine and burned it out back. I hope.
The Smoking Gun has the full story

McDonald's Presents the MIDI Place Mat

McDonald's in the Netherlands will soon make it possible to order a quarter pounder with cheese and produce your own EDM beats. Pictured above is the new McTrax MIDI controller place mat, a marketing marvel courtesy of it's creators Jan Jesse Bakker and Radha Pleijsant. The Mctrax controller is made with conductive ink on an ultra thin circuit board with 26 digital touch points. The place mat will act as a mini studio with a keyboard, effects touch pad, and audio recording.
“The paper of the place mat is what makes this technique so innovative,” said digital design lead Bakker,“The phone merely acts as the speaker and screen, which is easily connected to the placemat via Bluetooth, making the sure you can hear the music on your speakers.”

The McTrax, video here, works via a downloadable app and the bluetooth on your phone. It's already available in the Netherlands but there's no word on whether this will be available here in the states. I wonder if this will work outside the restaurant? Can you take this home and use it there too? That would be hilarious. It's a great marketing tool to keep people in the restaurant but at the same time it might get a little noisy(read obnoxiously loud) if the entire McD's was sitting around rocking beats.
Magnetic Mag has the story

Mom & Son Fight Over Meth Stash

Police in Spartanburg County were called to a home after a 27 yr. old man called to complain that his mom was yelling and getting mad at him. As they do, the officers responded to the call to find out that the mother and son were fighting about the son smoking the last of the house's meth stash. Man, I hate when that happens.
When cops arrived Nicholas Johnson was visibly agitated and was cussing at the officers. Once the cops were able to get control of the situation they determined the fight was over the son smoking the last of the meth stash that supposedly belonged to both the mother and son. Since there was no actual meth in the house Spartanburg police were unable to charge the son with possession but they were able to charge him with disorderly conduct after he began to freak out on his mom in the presence of the officers. Nicholas Johnson told police that he had polished off all the meth about an hour before they arrived. Momma Johnson was not charged with any crime but I'm guessing it's only a matter of time before she finds her self in a pair of cuffs. The son was booked in county jail on a misdemeanor charge. The Smoking Gun has the story

The Police Want To Test Your Meth For Infectious Diseases

I got to hand it to the cops on this one. Police in the Lake of the Ozarks, MO have come up with a way to get meth and meth users off the streets by posting on Facebook that a batch of meth shipped from Texas could be tainted with hepatitis and staph. Now, for the normal person it's easy to see the cops are just bullshitting and hoping to catch a few idiots with a simple ruse. The funny part is that you know there's a few burned out junkies sitting around questioning whether or not their meth is tainted. Whether or not they're dumb enough to actually head to station to test it is another story.

The Sheriff Department in Southwest Missouri took to their Facebook page and posted the announcement simply stating, "Breaking Information: Southwest Missouri Meth Supply Possibly Contaminated with Hepatitis and Staph.”
Local Police were asking anyone who has purchased meth shipped from Texas to bring in their stash and have it tested for any infectious diseases. Pretty simple really, the cops are just looking out for your best interest and want your meth experience to be a safe one. HA!!

“Please bring your Meth to the Christian County Sheriffs Office at 110 W Elm inside the Justice Center on the square in Ozark to have it screened,” the post read. “If a positive test is detected using our test ampules, a 100% safe collection will take place by our trained Deputies.”

The funny part is that since meth is basically brewed using household cleaners and other chemicals the risk of catching staph or hepatitis is probably the best thing that could happen. Other police departments around the country have starting using the same Facebook tactic with one reported case of a woman in Texas bringing in her meth to be tested for ebola. How fucking dumb to you have to be? Then again, if you're smoking meth that question kind of answers itself.
The Kansas City Star has the story

Stripper Bites Man's Crotch

A stripper in Rock County, WI is facing charges after she's been accused of biting a man in his crotch during a private dance. Mesheokia White was charged with suspicion of battery early last Thursday at Diamond Jim's. According to the police report filed by the victim, he payed the woman to "do her thing". From there the woman proceeded to rub her face all around the mans crotch and at some point chomped down on his dick hard enough to cause injury. Police on the scene said White was too intoxicated to cooperate and she was immediately taken into custody. I'm not a detective but I'm guessing that at some point she was trying to be sexy/seductive and thought it would be a good idea to give a cock nibble. Being too drunk she misjudged her bite and ended up performing a late term circumcision. Just my two cents as an amateur sleuth. Police reviewed security footage from the private dance rooms and the mans story checked out. No word on whether or not the vampire stripper is back on stage working. I guess you get what you pay for when you frequent a titty bar in Rock, WI.
Plus, looking at the girls mugshot brings to mind this classic from the Bloodhound Gang
CBS 58 has the story

Naked Florida Man Found Roaming the Streets

It's hard to tell what Florida man will do next but you can bet money it will most likely involve some hard drugs, a mental break, or nudity. Or if you're lucky all three of those.
A Mary Esther, FL man was found by police stark raving nude and walking down the street. Police received an initial call around 8 a.m. about a man walking down the side of the road in his birthday suit. When officers arrived they found the unnamed 50yr. old man had abandoned his car and walking down the side of the road. Eventually officers were able to talk with the man and his explanation seemed pretty simple, Jesus told him to do it because of course he did. Police reports stated that the man was hearing the voice of God and he told the perp to strip naked, get out of his car, and travel by foot. It was also noted that the unnamed man was not all there mentally. The man was arrested and his car was towed since he left it in a school zone blocking a sidewalk. No further information was given about the man's mental state but it's Florida Man. He does as he pleases.
NWF Daily News has the story

Coast Guard Saves Drowning Blow-Up Doll

Earlier this week the British Coast Guard received a call about a person drowning off the coast of Cornwall. Rescue boats were launched and teams from the Coast Guard and Lifeboat volunteers searched for almost 90 minutes to find the victim. After an exhaustive search they found their victim, a blow-up doll. A local fisherman made the call after he saw, what he believed to be, a woman thrashing about in the water, fighting for her life. Rescuers said the fisherman gave a very accurate description of the "woman", right down to the clothes she was wearing. Rescuers don't blame the angler and admitted that from a distance it's hard to tell the difference between an actual human and a fuck toy. They also noted that his description and exact location made the rescue mission that much easier. A helicopter was the first to spot the "woman" and after extracting her from the water it was determined that a simple mistake was made. They'd rather citizens be vigilant and report what they see rather than going about their day and ignoring any dangers. If you're curious, yes, the picture above is the rescued doll. She's safe now and has been returned to whoever's basement she escaped from. She can now live out her days dry and sexy.
News AU has the story

Cannibal Corpse Has Their Own Beer

Legends of death metal Cannibal Corpse have teamed up with the craft brewers over at 3 Floyds Brewing to unleash their own brand of beer, the Amber Smashed Face Ale. The beer is currently available in select bars in liquor stores with a possible full release sometime later this year. It's a hearty amber ale that I recommend if you're into any kind of amber beers. I was able to sample a pint at the Cannibal Corpse show on October 30th and it was fucking fantastic! As a fan of amber ales I have to say it holds it's own. It's safe to say that somebody over at 3 Floyds is a death metal fan because they've also announced that they're teaming up with other metal bands like Municipal Waste & Pig Destroyer to release custom craft beers based on the bands music and taste in beer. Fuck yeah!! The label for Amber Smashed Face, seen above, was designed by comic book artist Vincent Locke who has been inking Cannibal Corpse album covers since Eaten Back to Life back in 1990. Check your local watering holes and stores for a 6 pack of Amber Smashed Face Ale. As soon as I hear about the beers for other bands I'll post an update.
Metal Sucks has the story

This Prank Never Gets Old

Sometime over the last few years a group of pranksters came up with the idea to freak out fast food and hotel employees by telling them that they have a gas leak in their place of business. The only way to stop this gas leak is to trash the place by breaking out the windows and anything else they could think of to wreak havoc. The funny part is there's people not only dumb enough to believe the person on the other end of the phone but also that there first thought isn't to hang up and call the police or fire department. I mean, I think that would be my first reaction. Then again, this is a special brand of stupid.
If you've been paying attention to the news lately you've probably seen the civil unrest down in Columbia, MO at the University of Missouri. They police have enough to deal with down there right now and then they get this little gift. Me thinks this might have something to do with all the events taking place on the MU campus but that's just my theory. This past weekend the front desk clerk at the Budget Inn got a call that there was a gas leak in the hotel and they would need to break as many windows as possible. The clerk complied and started smashing everything in sight. While doing that the clerk pulled the fire alarm, maybe the only smart thing they did that night. Fire services arrived at the hotel to find the place littered with pieces of broken glass. The clerk told police about the phone call and that they were instructed to break the windows. The scene was deemed safe and no gas leak was found. Columbia police said they have no suspect and are asking the public to come forward with any information. If I had to guess I'd say the person who made the call is nowhere near Columbia, MO and won't be found anytime soon.
KOMU has the story

Man Caught Masturbating In Costume Shop

One of the best parts about Halloween is seeing what all the women are going to dress up as. Some take the modest route and go with something traditional and others take the slutty route. It seems like any costume you can imagine now has a slutty version. Slutty nurse, slutty pirate, slutty super hero and the list goes on. Sure it's low hanging fruit and just another reason to wear minimal clothing but it doesn't mean me and every other straight male can't look and say, "Nice." Some people want to do more than just look though, turns out some guys like to look and.......touch themselves. Weird.
Nigel Smith, 36, from Portland, OR couldn't control himself while browsing the local costume shop when he became overwhelmed by all the slutty costumes and the pictures on the packaging. An employee at the store told police she and a customer saw Smith's exposed genitals and that he was "whacking off"  in the aisles as he ogled the girls on the packages. A male employee tried to stop Smith from leaving the store but Smith tried to shove his way out the door. The male employee tackled Smith to the floor and Smith then bit the employee.
When the arresting officer arrived on the scene 3 men were holding Smith down on the pavement out in front of the store. Officer Bigoni said that Smith had a noticeable wet spot on the front of his sweat pants where his genitals would be. Smith told the officer that it was sweat. The costume creeper was charged with public indecency and assault. He's free on bond and awaiting his court date. This isn't the first time Nigel Smith took his dick out in public, records show that he was arrested in 2010 for public indecency. Sounds like he needs to work on keeping it his pants.
The Smoking Gun has the story

Oh, Florida Man. When Will You Ever Learn.

Florida man is at it again! This time one of the wang states finest accidentally texted a cop to score some weed. Because why not. William Lamberson, 29, from Port St. Lucie, was looking for some smoke and texted what he thought was his dealer. Turns out it was narcotics captain for the Martin County Sheriff's Department. Bummer!! The text started innocently enough with Lamberson asking "what's up?" and the officer replying "who is this?"
From there Lamberson replied saying that they met at the local 7-11 and he was dying to smoke some ganja. With the officers interest peaked he continued the conversation by saying that he could hook up the green if Lamberson could help him find some blow. Lamberson said no problem so they arranged a meeting to exchange the goods. Only problem was he set up a meeting with a cop and wouldn't be getting his pot. The two agreed to meet on Sept. 1st but the hammer dropped before that when officers were able to arrest Lamberson on charges of possession of cocaine with intent to sell. Turns out the guy he was texting did indeed have the hook up just not the one he was looking for. At the time the article was published it was unknown if Lamberson had secured an attorney.
The Washington Post has the story

Crazy Man Burns Down House To Rid It of Demons

A Lancaster County, PA man is facing up to 20 years in jail after he burned down his family's home because he believed that aliens were living in the walls and the basement was a portal for demons. Obviously, this guy is totally sane. I mean just look at the mugshot above. That's the face of a totally rational human being.
Joshua Witman, 34, told the cops he lit his mom's home on fire by lighting a box of wood in his basement to rid the house of aliens and demons. Isn't that a Dan Brown book?
This may come as a shock but Witman has a history of heroin abuse and a rap sheet going back 16 years. A witness told police that they saw Witman fleeing on his bike moment before the entire house went up in flames. He now faces between 5 to 20 years in jail and is being forced to pay up to $90,000 in restitution costs to help rebuild his mom's house. Let this be a lesson to all you junkies out there, if you have a demon portal in your basement it's best to just move out or make friends with your new imaginary overlords.
Penn Live has the story

Ice Cream That Won't Melt

It's like the Everlasting Gobstopper come to life in the form of dairy. Scientists, who apparently are done figuring out the cure to all the world's diseases, got together to give us the gift that keeps on giving. Scientists from the Universities of Dundee and Edinburgh cooked up a new recipe that stops ice cream from melting in warming temperatures or a the very least last longer.
  “We’re excited by the potential this new ingredient has for improving ice cream, both for consumers and for manufacturers,” Professor Cait MacPhee, an experimental biomolecular physicist at the University of Edinburgh, told The Telegraph.

According to the findings it all comes down to one new ingredient, "a naturally occurring protein, known as BsIA, that binds together the air, fat and water in ice cream to make it melt-resistant. The researchers discovered a way to produce this protein, which already occurs naturally in some foods, in friendly bacteria. The protein sticks to fat droplets and air bubbles to make them more stable in a recipe." A big plus is that manufactures and stores won't have to deep freeze their product which will reduce freezer burn. Sounds like everybody wins. I scream, you scream, we all scream for biotechnology!!

Airline Lets Kid Shit in the Aisle of Airplane

The following article right away puts blame on the parents for letting their kid take a shit in the aisle of a plane but I would have to think at some point the stewards or stewardesses had to have some say in this shit show. Pun intended. You just don't let some kid crap out in the open and not do something about it. It's safe to say everyone involved should be to blame and hopefully any employee on this plane was fired for letting this whole thing go down. Last week on a Shenzhen flight from Nanjing to Guangzhou a mother and father deemed the toilets to be too small. The article doesn't specify but I'm assuming both mom and dad wanted to join their child in the latrine to help change the diaper. As a parent I can confirm that it doesn't take 2 people to change a diaper. I can see the difficulty of having to do that in a tight space but there has to be a better way. Once they realized the entire family couldn't get in the bathroom they took the next logical step and let the kid shit in the aisle. Based on the above photo it appears the toddler wasn't running up and down the aisle crop dusting turds but it does look like the parents had no problem changing a shitty diaper in full view of the plane. You might be thinking that's the worst part, oh no. The worst part is that everyone on board had to sit with the stink because this all took place before the plane had taken off.
Nan Fang has the story