Slap On a Fart Pad

Do your farts smelled like something crawled up your ass and died? Are you embarrassed every time you snap off an onion fart and clear the room? Well worry no more cause the fine folks over at Subtle Butt have got the cure for you! Quick disclaimer, this is in fact a real product.
Subtle Butt has come up with a way to filter your farts and make them smell like roses instead of the usual scent of someone throwing up on a burning diaper. They come in all kinds of flavors from grape to orange and even blue. Nobody knows what blue is. No just kidding, they don't come in flavors. The fart pad just filters out the odor with some fancy spaceman technology. I could make fart jokes all day but I'll the engineers over at Subtle Butt tell you how it really works,
Each 3.25" square filter(fart pad) is made of soft fabric with an antimicrobial treatment on the side touching the skin. The fabric is impregnated with activated carbon, which faces the underwear or the pants and has a vast surface area for bad odors to adhere to and get neutralized. Two adhesive strips are strategically placed so you know which side is which. And at around 1/32" thick, you will never know it's there. Works on dogs, too! Now with improved adhesive.

So next time you want to fart in your friends mouth while he's sleeping go easy on him and stick a fart filter to your undies and treat him to the mist of a warm summers breeze.
Order your 5-pack of  "saving graces" now at the official website fartpads.com