When farting in the face of loved ones I always stick with tried and true methods like the 'Dutch Oven'. If push comes to shove though you can always gamble with the 'Walk By' fart and hope no one notices. Just make sure the person you're farting on has a good sense of humor or a stuffy nose cause you might get cut.
One Florida man found out the hard way that sometimes it's best to keep your stinky farts to yourself. According to the police report 37yr. old Deborah Burns was so enraged that her boyfriend farted in her face that she stabbed him. It all started a few weeks ago when the couple was enjoying a lovely night in watching some TV when Burns' live in boyfriend, Willie Butler, walked passed her and "farted in her face". Burns called out her boyfriend for the fart and Butler became agitated and told her to get over it. That along with the smell of the fart did not sit well with Deborah Burns. She grabbed an 8 inch kitchen knife and threw it at Butler hitting him in the stomach. He was treated at the scene and didn't require a hospital trip. After the air had cleared police arrested Burns for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and she was booked into the county jail on a $50,000 bond. This isn't the first time Burns has had a run-in with the police, she spent 21 months in state prison for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and battery on a law enforcement officer. Just a tip for whoever gets stuck sharing a cell with Miss Burns, hold in your farts.
Smoking Gun has the story
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