Man Tries To Toast His Penis

Emergency Services over in London released a story recently about a call they got that involved a man, his penis, and a toaster. The press release didn't get into the gory details but it did say that firefighters had to come to the mans rescue and free him from the clutches of the toaster. The idea behind the press release wasn't about shaming or embarrassing the man involved. Instead firefighters wanted to remind the citizens of London that their time is better spent tending to real emergencies. Not people who stick their dicks inside of toasters and other devices according to London firefighter Dave Brown,
"I don't know whether it's the 'Fifty Shades' effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up," 
 Normally, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but police and firefighters in London have been getting more and more calls over the last three years for peoples sexual misadventures and other stupid things. The press release included a short list of calls they've had to deal with:
-18 incidents involving children with their heads stuck in potties or toilet seats
-Five incidents involving people’s hands being stuck in shredders
-79 incidents involving people being trapped in handcuffs
-Nine instances of men with rings stuck on their penises
-Four incidents where people had their hands stuck in blenders
-17 incidents involving children with their fingers stuck in toys

Huff Post has the story

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