Based on the mugshot above it appears we aren't dealing with the sharpest knife in the drawer. David Hoyt, 56, was arrested at a Food Lion in South Carolina after it was determined he used his colostomy bag to smuggle out a few steaks. Mmmmmmmmm. Employees of the store followed Hoyt out of the store and were able to write down his license plate number. From there the cops were called and traced the plates back to Hoyt. Both Hoyt and his girlfriend were brought into the station for questioning and that's when the girlfriend told cops that Hoyt stole $75 worth of ribeyes by putting them in his piss bag. Quick question, how long do you marinate your meat in a bag of your own piss and shit? Do you want to use a dry rub or go with the traditional salt and pepper mix?
Mr. Hoyt was eventually charged with shoplifting and booked in to the county jail. I'm guessing the colostomy steaks won't be tagged and placed into the evidence vault.
The Smoking Gun has the story
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