3.29.2016

The Police Want To Test Your Meth For Infectious Diseases


I got to hand it to the cops on this one. Police in the Lake of the Ozarks, MO have come up with a way to get meth and meth users off the streets by posting on Facebook that a batch of meth shipped from Texas could be tainted with hepatitis and staph. Now, for the normal person it's easy to see the cops are just bullshitting and hoping to catch a few idiots with a simple ruse. The funny part is that you know there's a few burned out junkies sitting around questioning whether or not their meth is tainted. Whether or not they're dumb enough to actually head to station to test it is another story.

The Sheriff Department in Southwest Missouri took to their Facebook page and posted the announcement simply stating, "Breaking Information: Southwest Missouri Meth Supply Possibly Contaminated with Hepatitis and Staph.”
Local Police were asking anyone who has purchased meth shipped from Texas to bring in their stash and have it tested for any infectious diseases. Pretty simple really, the cops are just looking out for your best interest and want your meth experience to be a safe one. HA!!

Please bring your Meth to the Christian County Sheriffs Office at 110 W Elm inside the Justice Center on the square in Ozark to have it screened,” the post read. “If a positive test is detected using our test ampules, a 100% safe collection will take place by our trained Deputies.”

The funny part is that since meth is basically brewed using household cleaners and other chemicals the risk of catching staph or hepatitis is probably the best thing that could happen. Other police departments around the country have starting using the same Facebook tactic with one reported case of a woman in Texas bringing in her meth to be tested for ebola. How fucking dumb to you have to be? Then again, if you're smoking meth that question kind of answers itself.
The Kansas City Star has the story

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